You: Jewish, Attractive and Drunk

Trying to turn a long, rambling post on Obama's inaugural address and language into a short rambling post, meanwhile a love story from DC Craigslist:

Jewish girl who passed out in my bed - m4w - 25 (Chinatown-Gallery Place)
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Reply to: pers-1001706735@craigslist.org
[?]Date: 2009-01-21, 12:26PM EST

You: Jewish, attractive and drunk

Me: Not Jewish (Gentile), dashing, gazelle on the dance floor and drunk

In case you were as blacked out as I think you were, I feel as though I should reintroduce myself. You were dancing around and enjoying the festive cake and brownies at the JCC inaugural bar mitzvah…I mean inaugural ball, before cabbing to Chinatown and passing out in my bed. Nothing makes me swoon for interfaith relationships like a girl who passes out in my lap in the back of a cab.

You might be asking yourself “why did that sweet boy not call me?” or “did I really wake up in a random guy’s bed in Chinatown?” and other important questions to gauge whether or not last night was a dream, drunken haze or bittersweet reality. Allow me to answer those questions.

Keep reading for the answers.